Blog 12 – WTF – Go.

I’m not going to write you a love song.  I’m not going to write you a research paper, backed up with “facts” and “primary and secondary sources”.  I’m just going to write whatever the hell I know, which really is nothing and it’s all relative, and sometimes I just get in this kind of mood where I fucking write and don’t think about it too much – and life is so fucking philosophical and circular and bullshit, but it keeps us coming back, well shit I was going to eliminate that and say, “it at least keeps me coming back,” however I’m tired and I’d rather write this blog entry as raw as fuck and change up the flow for a post because I’ve been attentive to style and voice and this “blogging,” which has actually been challenging and so rewarding for me because it’s different, so I’m really not going to do any deletions or backspaces here and ZERO edits and just publish this thing, so anyway – Where was I? Okay, we all keep coming back for more – more of life – more of whatever this whole thing is that we can’t really all agree on within ourselves or within our species – we all want more of it – this feels corny as shit saying, but it’s really old Billy Shakespeare with the oldest, most raw, philosophical question when he opens Hamlet with “To be or not to be?” I mean think about it…

I’m playing with the way these words are spread because I want to – anyway, that question digs at me every. single. day. in every single way.  There’s not much more I can say about that, but there’s so much more I can, so I will – It hits me about life – what the fuck are we??? What is this?  What choices do we really have?  In it’s most tactile sense, the question Shakespeare posits is an affirmation that we choose whether or not TO BE – that’s it.  We have the power to give up and end our lives – we have CHOICES in everything we do.  So why the fuck are we stuck doing things we don’t want to do?  Why?  We find in in our hearts to keep coming back for more – every day – and we complain and I complain (I’m working on it – promise), but shit dude – we still choose to live and not kill ourselves (most of us), but what the fuck it is really worth if we’re not enjoying it?  Let’s go.  Let’s go do something.  Now.  Not tomorrow, not when it’s comfortable, and not when it feels right – because it will feel right when you make it right.  That’s my rant and I am cutting and pasting this into a blog and hitting publish – no lookbacks – excuse the language, but I wrote this to myself, not to you.  That being said, I think there was a message in here, but I have been “word-shitting” on my keyboard for 10 minutes and I’ll review this AFTER I publish it… Peas.


About rizzojoshua

I'm probably a lot like you, trying to figure out what it is we're all doing here. I'm going to write about what's honestly on my mind and heart, and I hope to inspire you and be inspired by you.
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7 Responses to Blog 12 – WTF – Go.

  1. rizzojoshua says:

    Just read this and I’m okay with it because it’s real – and it’s me, and it sounds like I’m out of my mind or something, however I am completely sober, and actually haven’t made it through my first glass of wine yet… just unwinding and felt like ripping these damn wraps off of my hands that I feel like I’ve been writing with, trying to keep “structure” and “voice” in mind… I understand the importance of all of that – especially as a song writer, etc., but I wanted to let go and let you in for a minute and let me out for a minute. I love you. Love & Peas, Josh.

  2. sounds good to me 🙂
    i feel like this most days too.

  3. oh ya, and it inspires to me make a post just like this one…will do that tomorrow. for now, bedtime. nite.

  4. Dubs says:

    The reason you do things that you don’t enjoy is because 1) you have to make a living and non of us like to have a boss.. Not that mine is bad but I’d really like to do whatever the hell I want with my time.. The problem is.. The shit I want to do cost money.. Thus.. I work. Now.. There are forms of work that I’d enjoy more than what I do now.. Coach, music, learn how to be a gun smith.. Stuff that interest me.. But again.. I have goals set for where I want to raise my family (preferably not hoodish) so I sacrifice to get there.. If that means making more money in a job that doesn’t interest me as much as other things if rather do and doesn’t make me “happy” then that’s life.. Sacrifice for the things that matter.. You know that as well as anyone I know. You said we all have choices.. I choose to sacrifice for where I want to go.. I sacrifice everyday so I CAN afford to do the things I want to do when I want to do them.. Pretty lame I know but in my opinion that’s what the bulk of humanity does.. They may not be extremely “happy” with what they do or how they live but they do things to ensure that they can afford to have brief moments of happiness outside “what they do”

    So.. What did I just say.. Basically that everything revolves around means.. And having means to get what you want. Let’s face it.. You can’t just quit.. Or.. I guess you can but then you become a leach on society and everyone else foots the bill for you.. I guess what I’m saying is there are very few people in life that find that place of true enjoyment in what they do to provide themselves with the means they need to live as they want… Which is what your trying to do right now with your music.. Do what you love and do it very successfully… If I win the lottery I’ll hook you up brotha.. Then we can buy an island and make music and do whatever the hell we want.. Probably won’t love long.. But we’d enjoy it…

  5. Action might be what will put your mind/heart at ease. Just DO it…Whatever IT is Good Luck
    Ranting is good…and very courageous

  6. Reggie Jackson says:

    You pulled a Cold Desert by KOL…. I’m here for one take, and one take only. Lol, anyways good stuff, I finally got around to reading this 1 it somehow slipped through. I love the part where you said it will feel right when you make it feel right. That’s a great way of looking at it as I usually put things off until I have the perfect starting conditions which usually ends up being a reason to procrastinate

  7. Sherman says:

    Love it. Good work Rizzy

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