Do You Ever Really Know Someone?

Do you ever really know someone?  
Do you ever really “KNOW” who they are?
Do you know yourself?  
Do you really “KNOW” who you are?

Tough questions – existential.  Thinking about it – I guess we’re all ever-changing, so the answers to these questions must be ever-changing as well, right?

These questions might seem rhetorical and they’re meant to be that way… it’s shit that I think about – A LOT – and it’s the shit I think that many of us think about and don’t talk about…

I like to think that we’re all different, and all alike.  I like to think that there are certain concepts (morals, values, however you might label them) that we identify within ourselves and identify within each other.

Can we accomplish tasks and goals alone?  Yes.  Yes we can.  However, does anything feel as good when we do something alone and we have nobody to share it with, help along the way, or learn from along the way?  No.  I feel like if there’s someone that I accomplish something with, someone that I give all I have to, and share all of myself with – someone who shares themselves with me to accomplish a goal… That’s what life’s about and that’s a way we can actually get to know each other.  Think about the cooperative tasks you’ve accomplished in your life (sports teams, bands, start-up teams, business teams, military teams, volunteer groups, etc.).

The most beautiful thing we can do as humans is share our energy and accomplish things that we could not accomplish alone.  I feel that a lot of us need a counterpoint – (someone or something) that makes us relative, lets us know that we matter, that we’re alive, and that we’re NOT ALONE in this vast life.

A lot of what I’ve read says that – as a writer – one should, “write about what you KNOW”.

This idea is something that tears me up inside – because the one thing that I actually think that I “KNOW” is that I “don’t KNOW shit”… So, when I write, I hope that those who read it understand what I write is from a place based more in my honesty than a place of “knowledge”.  Sure, there are things that we inherently “know” as truths, rights, and wrongs in this life, which most of us agree on.  Then, there are other things in life, which a lot of us think we “know” that we don’t agree on – things that are debated on various platforms (just look at politics and religion and you’ll catch my drift).  In either case, this blog is not a place where I want to write about things I “KNOW” – there’s a place where I’ll write about leadership, business, etc., but this isn’t it.

I write about the things that puzzle me – the things that I think might puzzle us all… I write about them in hopes that those who read what I write understand that they’re not alone.  I hope that we all understand that there are others without answers… I hope that maybe the people who read this can add some of their personal perspective to the conversation – lend some of their mental/emotional energy to these questions… maybe clear some of this shit up for me, for you, for themselves, for anyone thinking along these lines, maybe guide some of us in a direction or open our minds to something we haven’t thought about…

I’ve always had a ton of energy and that’s not stopping anytime soon.  My baseball coach at West Point grabbed me after the first three weeks in the locker room my Plebe (Freshman) year and said to me, “You have an energy inside of you that’s different, and it will make you the leader of this locker room – and that’s great – but with that comes a responsibility: If you lead these men the right way, they will follow you… and if you lead these men the wrong way, they will also follow you…”  

That energy is not solely what makes a great leader – I will get into what I think makes a great leader at another time…

I’ve never forgotten what my coach said, and I have carried it with me through my years at West Point (on and off the baseball field), through my time as an officer in the Army, in combat, and through my time as a business leader.  Moreover I have applied it as a FRIEND – someone who has shared my thoughts and tried to do the right thing by those I hold close to my heart.  I’ve screwed up a lot, made a lot of mistakes, and my coach’s statement continues to ring true through all aspects of my life – including the situations where I make good choices.  

Years have passed and as I’ve grown, I’ve been thinking about my coach’s statement in the sense of focusing my energy in a positive way in everything I do towards my principal goal – to be a better person, to open up and share myself, and to motivate others to think about themselves, value themselves, and share themselves – all contributing to a greater good – A good that directly affects personal relationships, which I think are the most important thing we have as humans.  

I spent time and spoke with a few of my closest friends over the last week, in terms of business, philosophy, life, and most importantly – personal relationships.  I’m going to paraphrase some of the things they said and I think it really brings this notion together:

‘I want to hope that those close to each other are there for each other as much as I hope that I am there for those that I care about.  Hope and reality always lay in balance, even in the most hopeful and optimistic of us all.  Trust in yourself and trust in those close to you – those who you put above all others – those people – the most precious thing there is in this life.  Those people are the most perfect and the most imperfect things in this world – all at the same time.  And even beyond that, there are so many people out there, so many people you will encounter – it makes it even more imperative to keep those that are close to you even closer.  As paradoxical as it seems, the bigger the world gets, the more important those close circles of individuals become to us.’  

We need to “KNOW” each other and the only way to truly know each other is to: 1) “KNOW” ourselves, 2) “KNOW” that we need each other, 3) Be bold and share ourselves with each other.  

This is the only way to “KNOW” someone, to create a bond, to accomplish things together, and to share this life.  We’re all we’ve got… I hope to “KNOW” you and I’m trying to share myself with you… I want to have a circle of amazing individuals that I can count on who KNOW that they can count on me…

You can KNOW me… I can KNOW you… you can KNOW each other… together we can share amazing things…

We can really “KNOW” each other… we just have to be willing to share ourselves…

Love & Peas,



About rizzojoshua

I'm probably a lot like you, trying to figure out what it is we're all doing here. I'm going to write about what's honestly on my mind and heart, and I hope to inspire you and be inspired by you.
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2 Responses to Do You Ever Really Know Someone?

  1. niki says:

    not sure i really know myself all that much. what i do know i don’t like. i have a very low self esteem due to my past. i’m trying to work through this with trauma counseling and such. thanks for the nice posts you put! i read them often.

  2. Such a tall order…So much to think here…Thank you 🙂

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