Picking Up The Pieces.
I’m sure that those four words mean something different, yet similar to everyone reading this entry.
Life is about beginnings, endings, hellos, goodbyes, and more than anything – moving on. Time stops for nobody and curveballs are thrown at us every day. I’d bet that everyone reading this has some situation, whether it’s just some menial fire they have to put out today or some larger, looming problem in their lives that is absolutely tearing them apart. For all of you nodding your head or saying, “yup”: You are not alone.
It seems that whenever I feel like I have everything together and I’m doing okay, something or someone comes along and just rocks my world and topples whatever I’m doing. This is when I’m faced with some options (the same way all of you are). At this point in time, when everything seems to be against you – you feel like your friends/family have turned on you, you lost your job, a business deal fell through, you found out that someone in your family is sick, or something very small and frustrating has happened in your day to day life – you have to pick up the pieces. YOU MUST.
Picking up the pieces, no matter how intense and important the situation might be – no matter how much of an impact it has on your life and those around you, is something you must do. Life is just that – we’re constantly experiencing some type of destruction, either caused by circumstances out of our control or poor decisions we have made. We’re constantly faced with things falling apart. This is life – it sounds harsh, but get used to it.
We continue to act surprised (myself included) when bad things happen, when friendships, partnerships, and all types of plans and situations go awry. We shouldn’t be surprised my friends – this is life. We have to pick up the pieces. It sounds pretty easy to say or write, and it actually is easy to do, once we have the proper mindset and we commit to reconstruction.
How many times have you been working on something and you get to the end of it to notice that it’s all wrong and you have to go back and start over? It sucks. I know – I’ve been there. Let’s take a simple situation: You’re putting together a table from Ikea and you’ve worked a few hours on it, you’re almost done, and you have a long day tomorrow. Then you notice there’s an essential part you left out and you have to go back and redo the entire thing – brutal! What do you do? Well, if you’re like me, you probably curse the little figures on the instructions, act like a child, huff and puff, finally calm down, and then you take it all apart and you do it the right way. You pick up the pieces, and you put it back together (obviously this is a very literal example).
Believe it or not, the sequence of events I just explained is very similar to the more complex and emotional problems and situations we face in life. Let’s look at something like losing your job. You lose your job and immediately you start to experience a plethora of emotions – you question your company, your boss, their loyalty, yourself, your loyalty, your abilities – and it down right hurts. It all hurts. You go through that same sort of huff and puff you did when you invested that time building the Ikea table to find out that you had to go back to square one and do it all over again. If you take a step away from life for a minute and look at your job or whatever the issue you’re dealing with, and you get through your griping and your emotions… Then you can begin to pick up the pieces, begin to heal, and begin to build baby.
I’ve been through a lot, as I’m sure you all have, so I don’t have to harp on the emotions and the feelings that we experience when everything falls apart. They hurt and we react in different ways when we feel betrayed or when we feel like the world is against us. I’ve been working extremely hard on putting things into perspective when things go awry (no matter how big or how small). I’ve written a lot about planning, and thinking things through – and the most important thing I have maintained is that we must understand that our plans are just PLANS – they change. While it might sound like I’m minimizing the devastation of a job loss or a relationship loss, I’m not. Again, you are not alone – we all have experienced, are experiencing, and will experience these things throughout our lives. How you react to a situation, no matter how much weight you put on it, means everything when it comes to moving on. IT’S OKAY to feel pain, sadness, all of the feelings you might experience, but it is NOT okay to wallow and allow inertia to overtake you and affect your path forward.
The best thing I can recommend is to first – understand that your feelings are not unique and it is totally okay to feel what you are feeling. Second, understand that these feelings will subside and the quicker you can realize that, center yourself, love yourself, and pragmatically look at what you can do to affect your future, the quicker you can begin to pick up the pieces and begin to build.
Again, life is about beginnings, endings, hellos, goodbyes, and more than anything – moving on. We MUST move on. We must take our lessons learned, PICK UP THE PIECES, and move on. When we really think about it, there’s no other option. Pick up the pieces and get moving – You’re better than staying down, you’re worth more, and you’re fully capable of dealing with anything life throws at you (and it will continue to throw crap at you – know that). Pick up the pieces and begin your reconstruction.
I don’t have to ask (I know each one of us is “picking up the pieces” in some area of our lives), but I leave you with this: Think about the pieces that you’re looking at on the floor. I beg you to begin picking them up and building again. If you need help and nobody is there for you to talk, I am. Feel free to contact me.
Love & Peas,